My initial reaction to your question was not to mention that you were a transplant from California. Local legend has it that for years there was a sign posted on the Oregon – California state line welcoming Californians to visit but to please not stay. Keeping up the humorous angle for a bit more, I’d refrain from favorably comparing California wines to to those made in Dallas Skyline Sports Jamie Benn Dak Prescott And Luka Dončić Signatures Shirt, and the same goes for beer from anywhere else. The same goes for Oregon marijuana. Rather than boasting about all that sunshine in Africa, complement the locals on their amazingly green state. And do as the locals – wear a shell jacket, have a layer of fleece in your Columbia backpack, and a tee shirt under that, and wear Patagonia shorts year round, even if you’re freezing. Oregonians really don’t complain about the weather, oh, and before I forget…you must start pronouncing “Oregon” as if you were saying “Organ”, and Willaaamit, as in the river, instead of Willa met. Those two are dead giveaways. Start saying “fir sure” instead of yes or that’s right. A Dougie Fir is a very tall evergreen pine tree, not some random dude’s name. Learn immediately that The Seattle Sounders (the soccer team) are the incarnation if pure evil. When ordering a soft drink you ask for a pop, not a soda, or a coke. But then, why would you want to in Beervana. Portland is Nike town, but Adidas is close behind. Don’t even think of buying Underarmour gear. The Portland Timbers, The Blazers, and the Oregon Ducks are the only teams you are allowed to root for, unless you’re living in Corvallis, in which case you support their team. If you really want to fit in, you will boycott Starbucks as pure corporate evil, another dangerous alien import from that city to the north, and consume all your coffee from Stumpcity only. You shall also never admit that you buy your books online from Amazon, yet another stealthy attempt of Seattle to permanently colonize Portland, but buy all your used and new books at Powell’s books. And you will believe that Drugstore Cowboy and My Own Private Idaho are the best indie movies ever. If someone says “this Bud’s for you”, they ain’t offering you a swig of stale, weak, rice beer, but rather a potent toke from some primo local kush, dude! And your new god shall be called Pre. As in Steve Prefontaine, U. of O’s and Oregon’s tragic, legendary track god.
LI12
